The Marital Consequences Of Drinking
by Bone Structure
Summary: Gabrielle has a little too much to drink... XenaGabrielle.


**The Martial Consequences Of Drinking**

by Bone Structure

_It only took five drinks_, thought Xena, _to get her completely, out of her mind, drunk. _

"Xeeeeeennaaaaa_," _Gabrielle hissed, not unlike a snake, as she placed her head on Xena's shoulder. "Everything is spiiiiining..."

"That generally happens when you're as drunk as you are right now." Xena smiled, partially because she had told the bard to stop drinking before it had gotten a bit out of hand, but mostly because she was finding the entire situation very endearing.

"Drunk?" Gabrielle lifted her head up and made some attempt to focus her vision enough to look into Xena's eyes.

"Yes, you are drunk. _Very _drunk."

"Nooooo, I - I'm not!"

"Yes, you are. If you manage to make it up to our room tonight without help Tartarus will see snow."

"Just 'cause the room is spinnin' that... that doesn't mean I'm _drunk_."

Xena took a sip of her own drink calmly and nodded. She smiled sarcastically at Gabrielle, knowing that an argument with a drunk could never be to any affect.

"I see that face, don't give me that."

"And Gabrielle, what face would that be?"

"Uhhhh... that 'I'm Xena, I'm always right 'cause I'm so cool with my big sword' look."

Xena put her arm around Gabrielle's shoulder, "You know, I think it's time bedtime for a certain little Gabrielle."

"I'm not little... you're just..." Gabrielle looked up into Xena's eyes, "...Tall."

"Doesn't matter who's what height, it's bedtime, Gabby." Xena stood up and offered her friend a hand. Gabrielle refused it, and tried to stand up with no aid.

"Woah!" Gabrielle's vision blurred; suddenly the world started spinning much, much faster. She lost her balance and fell forward into Xena's outstretched, expecting arms.

"Knew it."

"Shudup." Gabrielle broke from Xena's hold and tried to take a step. She swung from side to side, unable to keep herself or the world still. "If this room would just stay... stay still for a damn second..."

"If you had just stopped two drinks ago..."

"I'm not drunk!"

"Prove it."

Gabrielle took in a deep breath and tried to stabilize herself. She took two calm and easy steps forward with no visible trouble.

"See? Not drunk."

"Okay, make it up to the room by yourself."

The bard started a slow, but steady journey up the stairs. With every step she felt dizzier, and had an increasing amount of difficulty getting up. When she was half way up, the world multiplied and all was in twos. She tried to move forward to where her double vision told here there was a step, but the step disappeared and she fell once again into Xena's arms.

With great ease and just one fluid motion, Xena picked up the small bard, cradled her into her arms, and started walking to their room.

"Feels nice..."

"Huh?" Xena lifted a curious eyebrow at the comment.

"It almost feels like... like we're married. You know?"

"Oh. I guess since I'm holding you this way and you are extremely drunk, to you, yes it might feel like we're married."

"No, no," Gabrielle made an attempt to hold her head up and look directly into her friend's eyes, "I mean... we're married... it feels that way."

"I don't get what you're saying," Xena's heart rate began to increase. Deep, deep down, in some hidden crevice of her, she knew just what the bard was trying to articulate.

"It makes sense..."

"Maybe it only makes sense after you've had enough drinks."

"You know it..."

"I really do not." Xena kicked open the door to their room, her arms being occupied, and laid Gabrielle in bed.

"You do."

"I don't."

Gabrielle sighed verbally and remained still while Xena mechanically stripped off her armor and the bard's boots. The warrior slipped into bed without a word and pulled the blanket over the two of them.

"You do," Gabrielle whispered just before closing her eyes, giving the false appearance of sleep. The taller woman smiled and put her arm around the bard's small waist.

"I do," Xena admitted to her friend.

"You said I do, the marriage is official now."

"Gaaaaaaabriiiieeeeelle," Xena growled, peeved at the fact that the bard heard her confession.

"Okay, okay it's not."

"Good," Xena closed her eyes in hopes that she would fall asleep.

"Because we haven't kissed."

And so the bard leaned in and kissed her wife.

**End.**


End file.
